WTF?

I haven't posted in a LONG time, I'm not happy with myself. Quite frankly I have been reluctant to express myself here publicly in awhile because there hasn't been much postive for me to say lately......and I always have that voice in the back of my head echoing "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all". And while that makes sense, it wouldn't be ME to sit by and not say, chant or scream WTF? At the way things are unfolding. With that in mind....

President-Elect Obama intends to solve our continual crisis in the middle-east with "Diplomacy". That's like taking a knife to a gun fight.....a knife made of words, and instead of guns it's more like nuclear arms race. I wonder how this will unfold? WTF?

Every worthy or talented athlete on the Denver Broncos is either hurt, or playing like they intend to be. Seriously this team has suffered more injuries than the Marine core.

During the whole Halloween season not one decent scary film is released. Other than "Saw 8, return of Saw" of course. Then again I heard there's going to be another "Sex in the City" Movie...and that is fucking terrifying.

A recent and completely legit poll conducted by me, shows 90% of men would rather make out with Mike "Leatherface" Myers + Bloody Chainsaw, than Sarah Jessica Parker sans clothes.

Michael Crichton, author of many notable fictional stories over the last 20 + years including: Jurassic Park and The Lost World, Prey, Timeline, The Andromeda Strain, Congo and many others recently and unexpectedly died of Cancer. RIP and WTF?

I hate you cancer, and I'm coming for you.

If were supposed to separate church and state, then how is it fair that the Democrats have elected The Devil as the Speaker of the House of Representatives? Nancy Pelosi...seriously?
WTF????

If anyone cares to explain these things to me, please to so in a hasty fashion, before I change my name, grow a beard and take up residence on Zavodovski Island.

When the going get tough.....

Hey guys! How's everyone been? Sorry I haven't been more consistent with my posts, but I been kinda wondering (not 100% sure I care) how this blog was viewed?
Enjoyment? Concern? Enrage? Mass Confusion?
Maybe a little constructive criticism (Don't take a turn towards Negative-Town) would do this blog some good huh? Or maybe I'll read your feedback and decide your all missing the point and refuse to change. Most likely I'll get one comment (in the Comment Section of course) from someone telling me how much I suck.

It's been a dirty bastard of a month so far. I know everyone from family to friends to co-workers have been dealing with some crappy situations. The highlights include:
Money problems
A very ill Grandmother
The Death of a neighbor/family friend
A stroke
A Shoulder Operation
An Ankle Operation
A Car Crash
Cancer
Addiction
And a Kidney infection, Just to name a FEW
But the important thing is that just like every other hurdle sent our way, we knock it down/jump over it....then stomp the bejesus out of it and move on. But remember those who: Helped you up, lent you money, took you to the doctor, took care of you or said a prayer for you and your's.....If we don't take those close to us, no one will.

That being said, I hope everyone has a great, SAFE weekend. No more Drama people!
Adrian's 4th Birthday is Sunday. Happy Birthday Son!
Go Broncos!


I'm planning on posting more frequently starting next week........so enjoy your peace now!
HA HA HA!
Millermothra out.

I'm back.

Hello! How's things with my peeps? I'm sorry about the long wait between posts, but I was taking some time to myself. No seriously!..... Really........ Alright you really want to know what I been up to? I spent a few weeks in the Betty Ford Clinic. There you have it! I had some demons I needed to get taken care of, and I did so. My life was heading in the wrong direction, I had a $5 a dollar addiction to Caffeine. So my agent "booked me a room" , I did my time...and here I am.
All joking aside I just been a busy little broseph.

The Democratic National Convention will be in my hometown of Denver next week. It's going to be a NIGHTMARE. The Hotels are all booked up, Several Major roadways and Highways will be closed, schools will be suspended for the week.......The Clintons will be in town ect. Basically everything the Democrats have already "Promised" to fix will be completely Clusterfucked for the next week or so! Thanks again guys. I am thus forced to go on vacation. I will likely be attending the State Fair, watching the Moster Truck rally, rocking out at the Rage Against the Machine FREE show in Denver, and going camping. All Democrats are welcome....HA HA HA!

My Ma needs to have her shoulder fixed. They have the technology they can rebuild her.

If all those chinese gymnasts are 16 years old then my name is Long Duk Dong.

Next week Slipknot release their fourth Album "All Hope is Gone". Go get it Tuesday on your lunch break. If your face isn't melted off from the guitar fury or 7 of your vertebrae aren't dislocated from excessive headbanging by the time you get through the first 3 tracks....you need to check your pulse...and I will give you your money back.
Offer void in the lower 48 states.

I hope everyone is doing great-ish. Football season is JUST around the bend so how bad can things be? ..............Anyways:
Phelps is God.
Fuck the french.
Hot Cheetos are great.
Adrian is Brilliant.
Today is Friday.
Cell phones suck.
China and every other backward ass sanctimonious communist country can kiss my Smashmouth, home-grown American ASS!
How you like them apples????
I'm back.

Seriously?

Been a long week. No time to be cute. let's do this:

Patience is a Virtue. Silicon is NOT

Jesse Jackson said WHAT about Barack? Seriously? Obama Drama has begun.

I saw a Prairie dog eating the road-killed remains of another on South-bound Pena Blvd yesterday, it deeply disturbed me..............which is saying something.

I accidently watched 11 minutes of television the other night, America is apparently fairly talentless.

1 word: Vampirates. Yeah, imagine the possibilities.

Tulowitski................Seriously?

Happy Birthday to....well EVERYONE I guess.

234 bites later. FUCK mesquitos.

I am willing to trade my co-worker with 30 + years of Airline experiece and an I.Q. hovering around 21 for a laser pointer..............I will also accept a paper weight.

Slip N' Slide is the new Rock N' Roll.

Since my car has worked fairly well the last week, Amanda's decided to break down. Twice. On the same day. Seriously.

According to an Underground source (Big Mo) today is FREE slurpy day at 7-11. Seriously. Go now, quietly.

Despite what you might have been told Journey DOES NOT melt faces.

I love how people call me a "smart-ass"......like I've never heard that before!

The sand dunes are hardcore. Sweetness is not intimated, she's a freakin terminator.

Henry Rollins. Conviction. Legitimately. I'm serious.

I might be feeling ill soon.

"Why so serious?"

I'm at it again.

Here we go again my friends. Another Friday, another end of the week rant. Let's do this! First things first:
Happy Birthday to my beloved Sister Erica! Happy Birthday E! Everyone make sure you drop her a phone call or email today.
Secondly and equally important Much love and many condolences to my family in Tucson. We're (the Denver Millers) are so sorry for your loss.
Thoughts/Ideas/Questions:
If Colorado Rockies Stud second-year Shortstop Troy Tulowitzki happens (and this is just a hypothetical situation) to follow the trend of every other Young talented professional athelete in Denver and ever gets a DUI, then (you hear it here first) his new nickname will instantly become Troy "Too Much Whiskey".

Kidney Stones are more terrifiying to me than Freakin Sharks, with Freakin Lasers on their Freakin Heads.

Isn't it funny just 1 month removed from the race for the next President of the United States of America and Hillary Clinton couldn't get voted President of the local PTA.

Being "Shanghai'd" is apparently not as fun as it sounds.

When I'm having a good time, and relaxed FOR ONCE..........my car will break down.
or I'll be hit by a meteor.

Softball fields are big open areas, littered with towering steel poles and other semi conductor like metals everywhere. And though it seems like a bad locational choice I always happen to be at such a Softball Field when a severe electrical storms rolls through. \

Steve Hooten desperately needs to see an experienced Optomotrist.

Amanda's got new ink, but I'm not really liking it.

That's what I need to spill for now. I'm gonna go eat lunch and watch sportscenter SIMULTANEOUSLY. As for my car? Don't worry I'll walk.

..............pretty much, yeah.

Summer starter.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! This is NOT A TEST!"
Hey guys, it's June which means (at least to me) it's offically summer. So lets kick this thing into over-drive! Get outside! Here's my summer list, and in deep Danny Miller tradition it's chaotic with a touch of total randomness.
1. White people: Use sunscreen.
2. Nasty summer foot injury streak now at 6 years and counting.
3. Parker is scared of the Ice Cream man.......seriously. That guy is a creepophile though.
4. Milk is a bad choice of beverage when it's hot, and you need a cool refreshment.
5. Flat tires slow the garden-wagon-bobsled-project significantly.
6. Any disagreement with a 3 year old, will be settled via waterfight.
7. I like lists.
8. I don't know what an "arroyo" is, but apparently it's loud when full of water.
7. Seven comes before eight.
9. Things said might include: "that's the most ferocious little dog I've ever seen!" or "90 degrees?!? Screw that! I'm moving to Anchorage".
10. Sledgehammers rock.
11. I sweat, a lot. I think it's genetic.
12. The truth is actually contrary to what Dane Cook says.......... regarding shoes anyways.
13. Movie quotes are in abundance.
14. If drinking is cool, consider me Al Gore. Or anyone else historically-methodically, "uncool".
15. Wickity-wickity-wickity Wack.
thats all I got, for now. Make this an awesome, fun, ACTIVE, safe summer people! Your couch is the enemy.
Also big shot out to an old, dear friend of mine William Brawn, and his soon-to-be wife Peggy. ( haven't meet you yet, but you sound lovely) Congratulations on the engagement! Much love to those two kids!

Coming soon....to a $3 discount DVD bin near you.

"Froniter Flight 224 on approach to Denver International Airport breaks up mid-air and violently crashes onto property owned by the United States Military, land that was once used for Nuclear and Chemical weapons testing. A highly toxic and poisonous plot of land closed and guarded from the public known simply as The Arsenal . Immediate details from the crash site are vague and mysterious. While the public believe a terrorist attacked was achieved, the Government is quick to dismiss any such ideas. There's several details that have the Government and it's investigating agencies (FBI, TSA, CIA, FAA) scrambling for the truth......As it appears the Aircraft wasn't shot out of the air, nor was there an explosion..it seems to have STRUCK something on it's decent....and more even bone-chilling and confusing...WHERE HAVE ALL THE BODIES GONE? All 110 bodies onboard seem to be missing, and what little remains that have been recovered from the crashsite seem to have been.....eaten? Days later a small privately owned jet crashes under the same circumstances. And again, no bodies are to be found. What has the government been hiding? What mutated monstrosity would have the size and power to destroy an airplane? Now rookie FBI detective Seth Sommers and a thought-to-be insane Native-American Shaman and local Carnival Technician, Mongrel must seek out the truth before the death-count continues to rise"




coyright.

Sporadical

Here's what I need to hypothesize/state/clarify/substantiate. There's a valid chance this will all make more (or less...?) sense if read quickly, while spinning around in your office chair:

Cats are Satans furry henchmen. Pure evil. Just because your name is "Buckets" doesn't mean your not the minion of the Underlord himself. Espionage via feline, you think your a clever chap don't you Lucifer?

I got two haircuts in 4 days. The first one was from Dean, a nice, yet chatty fellow working at Fantastic Sams. Several days later that style was dead, so my sister Amanda (she also likes boys) finished the deed in the backyard. She also talked a lot.

Christmas is coming. Procrastination is an epidemic.

The Movement has begun, I can't speak upon it here. If your a male (we'll take your word for it, we're not the type to "check") and would like to join, contact your local representative.(DB or myself)

Ever notice how Natural disasters only happen in areas with a high population? Population control at it's cheapest. Think I'm joking? Notice the lack of assistance the local government/regime has shown at saving it's own people? Their trying HARDER to keep anyone else from saving their countrymens/womens lives. They refuse our manpower, yet accept our monetary donations???? The olympics are going to be very interesting.

Chivalry is dead. Blame text messaging. LOLing repeatedly doesn't seem charming, just creepy. I don't understand the "code" either? This is my way of apologizing.

Leah Donelson is getting married. Calm down. It's not til next year.

If you move the office Ficus and inch closer to a co-workers desk everyday, he will fall off the wagon.

Why do tents now come with different rooms? If you can't sleep in the same tent-room while camping..even if it's the only way to survice hypothermia then your relationship can't be saved by anything! Especially Scientology.

The "tech support" employee in India annunciates his english better than I do, but he speaks faster than an asthmatic chimunk.

There's a Starbuck on East Colfax, between a liquor store and the corner where the dealers sell their "merchandise"....coincidence?

These are actually the least ridiculous ideas I've had today.

TTYL.

For your Mama

Sunday is Mothers Day. Make sure you spend it with your Mom. Or go get a tattoo for her.

I love you Ma!

Lost and Found

Lost and found (LAF) : Lost and found this is Shaneya, how can I help you?
Danny (ME) : Um....hello Shaneya....wow what a beautiful name!
LAF: .....what ya need sir?
ME: I was hoping I left something there, and was wondering if.....if I could come get it?
LAF: What did you lose?
ME: What do you have?
LAF: Excuse me?
ME: I'm just looking......
LAF: Sir, I can NOT just tell you what we have!
ME: Do you have anything..........weird?
LAF: What EXACLTY are you looking for Sir?
ME: Well........my mind.
LAF: Sir?
ME: I've lost my mind, I need to find it
LAF: (Click)
ME: Hello?

No Way Jose!

Todays "man-crush" goes out to none other than Goalie Jose ("joe-say") Theodore. His ridiculously-good "did he really just save that" play of late has our beloved Colorado Avalanche heading to the second round. We're coming Detroit!....or maybe Dallas....either way (cue evil laugh) HA HA HA HA!
Can you feel the Bromance?!?
The Nuggets got spanked. I don't want to talk about it.

Consolidated thoughts

Ahoy! How goes my amigos? Good I hope. Spring is here (almost) which is good, because Parka's make me look fat. The weather is warmer, birds are chirping, everything is in bloom...which means my allergies have me in agony! Seriously , you know that scene in Indian Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark where those silly Nazi's open the Ark and are instantly Melted......That's how my face feels. I have a few ideas/thoughts/rants I would like to go public with. If I offend anyone, then your a pussy.
I can't stand Seattle or it's inhabitants. Nothing but a whole city full of wannabe tough-guy metrosexuals. Your sports teams are horrible, Your attitude is moody, Your greatest accomplishment or gift to America is Starbucks. Overly Caucasian Smug hippie losers. Your relevancy died with Kurt Cobain.
"Mean Girls" is an awesome movie. Yes I know its a teen girls movie starring none other than Lindsey "What drugs?" Lohan, but I like it. Its well written, by none other than Tina Fey. Its a quick, witty, and hysterical jab at todays youth. If someone has beef with that, then meet my under the flagpole and we'll settle this like gentlemen.
Booze = Giggle Water.
The NHL playoffs are unbelievable. They still surprise me after over 10 years of loyal watching! It's like regular hockey on speed. Every player skates their hardest, every hit is thunderous, every goal is a miracle. Tune in. OR, you can watch Dancing With the Stars, while doing your boyfriends laundry.
What would Silicon Valley High School's Mascot be?
Advertising = Propaganda. No explanation needed.
I saw a chewing gum commercial last night that made the special effects in Transformers look photoshoped.
Read and Repeat: Pharmacuetical companies are the enemy. The publicly abused politicians are simply their Pawns.
I'm only telling those who are too ignorant to have already figured it out. Believe what you want. Those of you with prescriptions might have a harder time believing me. Imagine that.
At least your thinking about it now.

Be Brief (it's a pun)

I had a dream I was a shark, but I was afraid to attack humans, the other sharks ridiculed me greatly. I was an outcast in the shark community. So I grew out my hair and started a rebellious punk rock Shark-band. We killed.............................get it?
If your a male, or a female or even a "somewhere in between", and you haven't figured out that Boxer Briefs are twice if not six-times more comfortable than regular boxers OR plain old briefs than your a square.
I was thinking of starting a club/group. A meeting of the minds if you will. Somewhere between the Super-Friends and the Buena Vista Social Club. But without either geriatrics or spandex.......ok ok geriatrics welcome, but only because they always have the most bad-ass stories. I'm standing firm on the NO Spandex protocol though.
Since the economy is sliding downhill quicker than Roseanne wrapped in cellophane I think I'm going to sell oil, by the ounce, in small plastic baggies, from out of my trenchcoat, under the bridge at 225 and Colfax. Keep it on the down low.

No meat, no problem.

I did it. 1 complete month without ANY meat @ all. I am currently devouring a cheesesteak (with bacon) sandwich while listening to the song "bloodmeat" by one of my fav bands Protest the Hero, to celebrate. It was a long month, and I gained a lot of mental strength from the challenge. But I'm glad it's over. Go kill something and eat it.

So you know

This blog does NOT condone Samurai's who hover over motorcycles.

March Madness

Hello all, a quick few updates today. Hope everyone is well, I know a few of you have had some tough spots lately and I hope everything turns around for you. I've had a long lonely week myself (starting to feel like Robert Neville) but things will turn around......Hopefully! Things can get a little crazy this time of year. Keep your heads up.
Anyway I got a heads up from a good friend of mine from NOR-CAL, David Miumi (The Miumi Sound Machine) about an awesome race that happens in San Francisco at the end of May. It's a little longer than the last one I ran, so I'm gonna have to train a bit, but it looks like a wild good time! So hopefully I can make a weekend out of it, and head to San Fran. Check it out:
http://www.ingbaytobreakers.com/main.html
I was watching the news a few days ago and they had a segment about there being hormones and drugs found all across America in the drinking water. Now the government claims these drugs (including sexual hormones) happened into the water source by way of people flushing their drugs/pills down the toliet. Now I have two ideas/questions on this Official statement. First off: Bullshit! If you really believe this then you've obviously comsumed too much tap water and the drugs ARE working effectively. And Secondly: Why the Hell does what we flush down the toliet end up in our drinking water source??????
Make up your own mind people! Wake up. Think for yourself.
Thought for the day: Those who say "violence never solved anything", have clearly never had to uppercut a vending machine to retrieve their breakfast.
Everyone have a good weekend. I know a few of y'all have spring break rolling around next week so eat that up, and have a good time, be careful. Take care thanks for reading, remember to floss.
Millermothra out.

Dust yourself off.

A year ago today I decided to ride my Mountain bike down a hill at top speed. A year ago and 40 seconds later I was laying at the bottom of that hill in a ravine, about 15 feet from my bike, and not feeling splendid. I had flown down a steep hill, gone into a bad skid, been thrown from my bike headfirst, and had tackled a huge rocky chunk of Colorado with my head and shoulder. I instantly stood up to see if their were any hysterical witnesses or possibly a camera crew had happened to be strolling by, but there was no one. I started to clean the grass out of my helmet......Since I brought that up I gotta stop right now and thank Buell Helmets for quite possibly saving my life....anyways while I was dusting my self off I suddenly came to the conclusion that my right shoulder and arm was kind of.....dangling! I suddently reached under my ripped shirt and found my right Colarbone (clavicle) trying it's hardest to escape my flesh! I knew I needed to get my ass out this ravine ASAP, so I instinctively reached with my (broken) right arm into pocket to find my phone. It is safe to say this was a mistake. At this moment I felt like an underfed pit bull was knawing on my shoulder. I somehow managed to get my phone and call my awesome Dad to pick me up and take me to the Emergency Room. (unfortunately it wasn't the first time he and I have made such a trip). We (Ana who had come to relieve my Dad and I) then sat in the emergency room for the next four hours until a Doctor decided to inform me that my horrendous and obviously broken clavicle was, In Fact broken, and that there was nothing he could do, but refer me to a surgeon. The nurse informed me that fractured clavicles are fairly common and that it rarely, if ever requires surgery to correct. Well, early the next morning (Another huge THANK YOU to Ana, for driving me around, helping me get dressed and bath, listening to me complain ect ect ect) my surgeon Dr. Weinerman quickly and in a way that HE (just him) found quite amusing informed me that

A) I would in fact need surgery and several months of accompaning physical therapy to fix my shoulder AND

B) my fracture was THE single worst broken clavicle he had personally witnessed in 32 years, and quite possibly the worst broken clavicle since.......god had invented the clavicle.

Needless to say, I went under the knife, did my time in therapy (thanks to the Staff, especially Marley) and here I am 1 year later pretty much back to normal.

To kind of celebrate getting over that bump in the road my Mom and I decided to run a 7k (4.9 miles) race this weekend(I know I've mentioned my Mom a lot lately, I swear I'm not a Serial Killer). I did ok for a first timer and it was a blast. Definately something I suggest to everyone. I ran the distance in just over 40 minutes (40.01 officially). I'm looking at similiar distance races to run in the future if anyone has one they know of, please drop the info to me in the COMMENT SECTION. I guess the moral of todays post is to pick yourself up and get back at it!
Thanks for reading, I know it wasn't my most comedic or entertaining post. I do have some cool updates I will be posting shortly so check back soon. THANKS AGAIN to everyone (friends, family, medical staff, co-workers and anyone else I missed) who helped me through this YOU GUYS ROCK!

Paying my Rant

I have a few quick thoughts, or tidbits to share with you.
1. This whole Brett Favre ("fav-ra") lovefest has got to stop. Yes the guy was a good quarterback, NOT great and yes he does hold a few prestigous passing records. BUT he also holds records for some not so great records: Most pass attempts and most interceptions namely. And honeslty the passing records he does hold will be obliterated in a about 2 years time by a FAR better QB in Peyton Manning (Manning's commecials are also way more talented than Favre's). Farve's records are basically a bi-product of playing for 47 years (in Brett Favre's rookie card he's wearing a leather helmet) and throwing the ball EVERY DOWN. He had two good years in 96-98 and two more in 06-08 that for the most part bookended 10 years of mediocre play at best. It's also peculiar to me how everyone has simply forgot about the Golden-boy Brett Favre's drug AND alcohol problems. What can I say....He's no John Elway.
2. I am more than ready for spring. It hasn't been that nasty of a Winter, but I'm ready to not have to warm up my car every morning and night. I do enjoy watching all the transplant californians sliding around on the ice in their silly little honda civics though.
3. The Denver Nuggets. I don't even know where to start? 1 word = underachieving. How do we keep losing games to the Bucks? The Timberwolves? Can you imagine if the Globetrotters lost 4 out of 10 games to the Generals? I think it's time for Coach George Karl to start reading the classifieds.
4. I can't portray in words how completely sick I am of seeing fake, neon colored testicles hanging from the back of trucks. Are you that unsure of yourself? Seriously? Do you get one of those free with a tribal armband tattoo? Or purchase of 24 pack of Budweiser? It looks like a fishing lure. Are you trolling for a boyfriend? Grow up you sick bastards. Get a fucking shrink!
5. Someone, anyone go buy a (few) record by a band called The Dillinger Escape Plan. They(seen above, not sucking) are the most inovative, fresh sounding Bad Ass group of musicians to make music in the last ten years. But they're not a pop band (thank you jesus!) so no one buys their music and their not getting the respect they deserve. They will blow your mind. I call it Adult contemporary electro-industrial-Jazz Thrash......Core. Think new age Black Flag on Steroids. It's raw, progressive and rad. This is the band that makes the emo kids piss their sisters jeans. Check out their songs: "Milk Lizard" or "Black Bubblegum" thank me later.
That's all I'm gonna rant about today.....it is Monday.
Millermothra out.

Un-carnivorous behavior.

Day 5 on the alien planet. So far so good 5 days into my infamous and ridiculous 1 month no meat challenge. It's honestly been a lot easier than I originally thought, but I've still got a long road ahead. I can imagine I'll be "Jones-ing" for some hot wings like no ones business in a few weeks though. Speaking of wings (I'm working on my segways, get off my back!) I got some new ink, count them 1 + 1 carry the 3, round up = 2.......I got 2 new tattoos this past weekend. I got a black bird-like wing on the outside of both of my calves. I think their awesome, inivative, original, artistic, expressionistic......my family hates them. Tattoo's can be a great way to express ones self (if your into that sort of thing), and set yourself apart from everyone else. Also in the case of a tribal armband a very easy way to distinguish and avoid a "roid ragin" 30 something, has-been frat boy jock while playing hoops at the gym. Also (don't tell anyone) but getting wings tattooed on your legs is guaranteed to make you run faster and jump higher than before.....kinda like Pia Flyers (that's right I rep'd THE SANDLOT). Speaking of jumping higher (segway 2) the NBA has reinstated Chris "Birdman" Andersen. For those of you who don't appreciate high flying, hard dunking, shot blocking old School basketball......I don't know why your reading this.....um,awkward......well anyways, The Birdman (pictured above right) is just that. And that Cat is as white (caucasian) as Will Farrell's un-tanned ass. Mr. Andersen got himself excused from the NBA in 2006 for failing a random drug test. According to his manager and NBA officials, he's has since passed a year of drug and alcohol tests cleanly and shown upstanding behavior. So welcome back BIRD! Hopefully he's turned a corner and he can continue his career. Man I wish he was still a Nugget!

Alright citizens that's all I will subjugate you to today. I do want to throw a shoutout (not real sure what it means, Heard in on MTV) to my Mom and DB. For 2 reasons: A) Because they are quite possibly the ONLY 2 people who read this ranting mess, and B) Because they can in fact READ. Which nowadays is quite a feat!

No disrespect to anyone else who surfing the net, stumbles upon this blog and skims it looking for something useful or naked pictures of Kermit the Frog, but I gotta show my fan(s) some loyalty. If you do read this and want some blog-love, drop me a comment in the(cue the voice of doom) COMMENT SECTION.

I do have a few other things brewing, I'll post that stuff later this week hopefully.

My thought of the week: Those who say you can't learn anything from video games, has CLEARLY never tried to cross a busy highway without prior experience playing FROGGER.

Justice has been served.

Ello ello! How are all my electronically gifted moderately intersted friends? Hopefully everyone survived Monday. Speaking on that. I was driving home from the grind last night, stuck in bumper to bumper traffic when suddenly I witnessed my very first HIGH SPEED CHASE! That's right Ladies and dudes....it was awesome. Let me paint you a word picture. So there I am sitting there on Southbound 225 not moving, thinking about that scene in Office Space where the old lady with the walker is outpacing traffic, when out of the corner of my eye I see all sorts of Police (The Heat, 5-O, pigs, the FUZZ, po-po's, coppers) flying up the shoulder of the Northbound lanes. Well they were chasing some dweb on a crouch rocket. They caught up to him and were pinching him towards the wall. The guy had no choice but to stop the bike, or become a grease stain. Well instantly there are 15 Police officers around said moron. The first cop runs over and pulls the guy off the bike, but he breaks the officers grasp and runs directly into what I can only assume and describe as the most dominant center in the Aurora Police Basketball League EVER! This Shaq like Justice enforcer than lifts the helmet clad perpetraitor into the air and body slams him onto the hood of a Police car. Now many people might have seen this as "Police brutality" but I'll put the kabosh on that thought right now. I personally believe that stupidity should be painful, and if that pain resonates from the long arm of the Law Suplexing a bad guy through a Cop car, then so be it.
I ran across a petition on the magical interwebnet today askign for Pepsi CO to once again make and distribute Crystal Clear Pepsi. How silly is that. I had honestly forgot about the greatest beverage I drank the summer of 1993. It made me laugh, reminisce.....I signed the petition.
I must go part-take in my allowed mid-day meal.
The Colorado Avalanche signed good ole #21 yesterday....we will win the cup! If you don't know who I'm talking about......we will not be close companions.
Happy Birthday Johnny Cash, RIP.
Bye-bye

The No meat, 1 month challenge

That's right. I have been challenged by one of my co-workers (not really sure if I should say her name, because she's not in america legally!) to see if I can go 1 entire month without eating meat. I accepted the challenge, because quite frankly I don't know how to turn one down....it will undoubtedly be my downfall. God forbid someone challenge/dare me to bite the lower lip of a shark or Streak naked into a fiery inferno.....again. Back to the task at hand, Starting on March 1st, 2008 I will not consume any meat (fish is excluded as a clause in the contract) until the calender month is over at 12:00 am April 1st. I'm fairly confident I can do it, though I am very aware of how hard it will be. Hopefully I don't get delusional with Bloodlust and start to visualize everyone as giant walking chicken legs and T-bone steak cuts. I do want to make it perfectly clear I am not doing this for any animal rights movement or left wing activist group ect. I could care less. I am a hunter, I use bacon as a condiment and I don't even check when I buy my Bumblebee Tuna to see if it's "Dolphin safe" because I don't care....and honestly I have a slight suspicion that bottlenose dolphin would be very tasty grilled and buttered. Depending on how this 1st challenge commences might call for more to come, stand by for details on those to unfold and PLEASE as always post a comment on your thoughts or ideas.
Statement: With Jahova as my Winess the next grown adult who refers to the Library as the "libary" Might just get a quick order of a Knuckle sandwiches with a side of Karate chops.
NO MEAT! 1 MONTH!

No one said this blog was pretty

This is a brutal new band outta Sweden called the "Cool Candys". Check em out. Their record can be found in your local record store in the "Fugly" Section.

Don't take this personally

Whenever someone utters the above sentence to you, they are definately going to insult you. I'm not real sure how your not supposed to "take it"? I mean is the malicious jerk/person speaking to you assuming you are Schizophrenic and can just change personalities instantly like someone changing the channel? "Oh your going to insult Danny, let me step into Tulley the chimney-sweep for a quick second". It's like saying " this isn't supposed to hurt, but I'm going to drop kick you in the esophagus", same difference. If you have a problem with someone then just tell them like an adult, or call them a "poopyface" behind their back. To answer the most relevant question, NO I haven't been involved in a recent altercation or ruckus....it was more of a public service announcement (incoherent rambling) than anything. And I did overhear a bunch of the smoker ladies flapping their old yellow jaws in the hallway this morning about the some new girl. Saying there's a lot of gossiping in the office workplace is like saying NASA is scientific. Bit of an understatement.
Does anyone bet on the presidency? Like in Atlantic city are there a bunch or over-weight, middle aged men going "Gimme 5 G's on Obama"? I don't have a gambling problem, I was just wondering.
My funny has got the flu, sorry.
I'm gonna get back to work
Believe that.

Gangsta's Paradise

I woke up this morning and the first tune, nay THOUGHT was the song "Gangsta's Paradise" playing continually in my cranuim. "Gangsta's Paradise" was a hit single by the then popular rap artiste Coolio. It accompanied the 1995 gangsta drama flick "Dangerous Minds". Why this horrible noise was attached so strongly to my mind today is confusing. I have serious disdain for rap music and more-so for Michelle Pfifer. Coolio is kinda cute though. He's just so harmless, ya know?
"Power and the money, money and the power Minute after minute, hour after hour Everybody's running, but half of them ain't lookin What's goin on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin"
Good stuff.
I wouldn't mind if my friends started calling me Coolio. I mean, Is there honestly a cooler nickname out there? No way.

Seek cover.

Hello. Or "aloha" as they say in England. First things first, My cousin Willie is very sick in a hospitol in Tucson, hopefully the Doctors can get this bastard of a Staph infection that ailes him taken care of and he can make a hasty recovery. Many thoughts and Prayers with him and the whole Degrave family from all of my family here(Denver, CO) and the 3 or 4 other people who are associated (very losely mind you) with this blog. Yesterday was one of my best mates in the world, Jordie a.k.a Jay a.ka. Pascale the Rascal a.k.a Jordan "I WILL END YOU!" Pascale's 21st Birthday. Hope he has a GOOD ONE. Also, Tornadoes suck (quite literally) hope everyone in the midwest gets back on their feet, my condolences to the families who lost a loved one. It's been crazy windy here and I can't even fathom the hellish chaos a tornado would cause. On a completely out of left field side note: There's a guy that works in the same office building as me, I think he has a hair piece or "rug", because whenever it's windy he gets a sudden case of malaria and calls in sick. I was just reading about this sugar refinery explosion in Georgia. Holy Schnikes! I had no idea that powdered sugar was that flammable or combustable. Once again (What a day huh?) many condolences to the families affected. I promise you I will never view Funeral cakes the same way. Instead of the warm, hap-hazardly shaped delicious pastry covered in powdered sugar I so adored, I will now see a DIRTY BOMB! The TSA is gonna have a field day with this one. Have a good weekend everyone, stay safe for God's sake! Aloha.

Hot off The Press

This just in, Gisele Bundchen has reportedly just broken up (DUMPED!) New England Patriots' very bruised Quarterback, Tom Brady. Apparently she ended their relationship of over a year this morning. When asked the reason for the split Gisele (in a BERY sexy brazilian acent) spoke only the words: "I don't date losers" before being whisked away by her security.
"Manning drops back, he lobs one to the corner of the end zone......he's got Burress wide open! TOUCHDOWN GIANTS!"
Does anyone remember when the Patriots were undeafeted? Remember?
Anyone?
Yeah me neither.

I'm alergic to selfish.

I think this blog is very selfish on my behalf. Blogging is basically an electric Diary of sorts, and I (and Millions more) write down thoughts, hopes, ideas, recipes, rhetorical questions and possibly even haiku's in the self-absorbed, egotistical and pointlessly retarded notion that what we have to say is really that important, interesting or even a little relevant! So with that in mind I have a few things to stamp out. Miley Cyrus is a media megamogel/ monster, go see her movie, buy the soundtrack tell me how it is. Go Giants! I'm really pulling for you guys, I overall just want to see a good game. The Mars Volta have a newish album out, this is a band EVERYONE can get into. Seriously their songwriting is progressive, it's almost Red Hot Chili Peppers meets Zeppelin-esque. If your not a fan or soon to be fan of theirs then I don't know what your doing with your life....I really don't.
An interesting development I'll share with you (for my own pleasure obviously). It's no secret that I am willed by forces beyond me to prank my friends, family, co-workers and passerby's. Well this caused an interesting twist in things. Yesterday everyone in my office, except me decided to prank each other very spontaneously. Well in a "peter cried wolf" type reaction to the finding of ones self the victim of a prank everyone decided to blame me! I was the only one who did not partake in such shenanigans! Funny how things unfold huh?
Millermothra out.

Just to clear it up

Jesuit is in fact the deadly martial arts of Jesus.
Jesuit = Jesus karate.
I'm out.

Sic Riffs

Yeah....basically a list of 5 riffs that are that are crushing, but are never mentioned, or under-arated. If you haven't heard these songs...check em out.....if you disagree or have a song you want to nominate leave me a comment. In no particular order:
1. Paint it Black - Rolling Stones
2. Zero - Smashing Pumpkins
3. Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
4. Honey Bee - Tom Petty
5. Born of a Broken Man - Rage Against the Machine

Expletives are fun

Does anyone remember Sleap? Or Schlep? Sleep I think. Not real sure. Apparently it's the NEW healthy thing to do. I've been told I should Acquire some. All joking aside another unread blog which means....neglect, but more importantly it's finally Friday! I am very tired it's been a long bastard of a week, so todays blog is (unofficically) brought to you thanks to Full Throttle Energy drinks, Strawberry flavored Special K Bar's (only 90 calories) and the sweet sound of Christian Choas/noisecore act Norma Jean. I read on msn this morning there are new images of Mars, in which their looks to be a man in several of the photos! My bets are it's Pauly Shore, I was wondering where he'd wondered off to?
On a different more serious note (irony!) I have been planning or comtemplating rather, doing some stand up comedy. I used to do it in High School and college as part of open mic nights in the performing arts department, in a makeshift improve group and Odyssey of the Mind performances and I have honeslty always wanted to get back into it. About a year ago a few friends of mine (yes, I have a few.....I pay them cash) told me that I should try again, so I started writing. Well over the last year I've wrote/engineered/cross bred some jokes. They are designed for laughter. Some decent, some crappy and some are reserved for late night performances at half empty VFW halls. But I think I'm going to do it and I am basically gonna use this blog to test the waters. Get a little constructive criticism, maybe a heads up on an oppurtunity. So PLEASE leave a comment and/or pass the blog on to friends or family or even foes that might have insight and or ideas. I would really appreciate it, and in the event that my fetal-stage-as-of-now Comedy goes really well your application would be immediately reviewed as a potential member of my posse/entourage.
Everyone have a good weekend. No drinking and driving people! I read this morning that DUI arrests are up slightly.
I guarantee you when my mom read the title to todays post she was like "oh god", that was definately as fun a visual for me than typing 4 letter words, for now!
Question: Are mustaches back?
If so, I'm giving all the credit to my Dad, he's been sporting a wicked 'stache for 40 years.
(according to him, he started shaving when he was 10)
That's all (and enough) for now. Cheers.

MLK & Manda

Today is Martin Luther King Jr day! Everyone rejoice and give thanks for a great man and what he devoted his life to. Also today is my sister Amanda's Birthday! Happy 20th little sister. So everyone (or anyone) who reads this, make sure you drop her a email, text, or letter via pony express or give her a call later.
Saw Cloverfield on Friday night. It was very good. Best movie I've seen in a LONG time. I suggest you go see this one, it one you'll wish you would've seen @ the theatre if you don't, I promise.
Go Giants PLEASE beat the evil dynasty that is the New England Patriots and the whole Boston area. Eli Manning has the chance to play the young hero in this movie, make it happen man! Maybe Matt Damon will play you in the movie?....Wait he's a Southie kid huh? Edward Norton?.....Nevermind. That's all I got for now, get you asses back to work! The Economy sucks, for those of you who don't watch The Daily Show.

Real quick-like.

Just a few quick thoughts today. TGIF to everyone. Well not everyone.....do atheists celebrate TGIF? Anyways, Today is definately Friday and though I'm not myself (feeling a little under the weather) I had yet to prank someone in 08 was worried about getting behind in my work, so here's what I did. On my boss' desk there's a fairly large bottle of ibuprofen kept for anyone or everyone suffering from the extreme physical or emotional pain of grueling office work. I decided to spring a doosy. What I did was traveled to the local Wal-green's and purshased a large bag of skittles. I then simply emptied to remaining pain meds into a zip seal bag and filled the empty pill bottle with skittles. It worked well needless to say the result was rediculous and delicious! And valuable data was retrieved from said prank/experiment: It is a fact that ibuprofen is an effective pain reducer and can help in cases of headaches, pulled muscles or minor cephalic lacerations. Skittles can in fact cure deuteranopia, also known as color blindness.
Question's for the day: Are roly poly's in fact miniature armadillos?
Everyone have a good weekend. Al Gore is an arsehole. So, I suggest you bust out the leg warmers or Liger fur coats (sorry PETA) and stay warm.

Sesquipedalian....dude what?

First off, I don't see the difference in the multitude of text choices allowed. Does one make me seem more vibrant, intelligent, blog saavy then another? Also if I use different size fonts, does it make me seem like I'm having an electronic emotional episode? an EEE or 3E if you will. I'm coining that term right now! I'll have to wikipedia that shit later. Anyways. Got the latest Deftones album (don't worry it comes on a CD) "saturday Night Wrist" its slightly more subdued and melodic than previous offerings. But I definately like it. I'm looking forward to seeing Cloverfield some time this weekend. It looks uber rad. And as far along as some backward ass left wing socialist like to think our society as come......we all still can't wait to see any movie showcasing a giant monster smacking around NYC like some drunken texas stepfather. Thinking about getting a American Gladiators office pool going? Any takers?
oh an the "S" word. Look it up! It's unfortunately not a giant reptilian monster looking to gnaw on skyscrapers.