Back to Blogging

I'm doing this thing again. Hopefully my absense created some sort of growing interest? No? Didn't think so. Instead of another long rambling blog about whatever the heck flops across my mid-brain I think I'll slowly ease my eay into blogging again or "splenda" my way into it. I can't promise my jokes will be any funnier, that anyone will be spared or that I'm even consciously aware of what I'm typing...... I'm so tired I woke up with a lisp and a hairlip. Let's go.
Maybe I should stretch.

I don't care what anyone says USA handed the world an ass-whipping in the Olympics. How do some of these norwiegan countries lose to us in ice-sports? It's ALWAYS winter time over there. They are born on the ice, then slid down the ice to their families. That's how curling was invented y'all, true story. And screw you especially to Canada for announcing themselves the victors. Canada is like that that weird, yet quiet single-guy neighbor that kept to himself and maintained a nice lawn that we used to bum beers off of......until they won a few gold medals and started running their mouths. You're just on the other side of the fence guys. Keep running your mouth, I will urinate "U S A" (in cursive, you understand) in your driveway until we win that Hockey Gold Medal in Russia four years from now.

I think the first 30 people in line in every theatre in America to see "Alice in Wonderland" should be tested for LSD.

I gave up Red Meat and Soda for Lent. I thought about giving up Chicken Wings, and the thought made me laugh hysterically. Silly brain.

If you haven't watched Dexter.......check it out. It's an incredible show.


Ryan Miller saves more than Jesus.


Read: "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"


The refs at the Bladium suck more than a blonde vacuum cleaner.

I'm probably going to get a two game suspension and a fine for writing that.


If I was a judge on "Dancing with the stars" every critique of mine would go like this "those wern't bad moves, but you realize you are wearing glitter right? I'm gonna have to give you a 2"


This blog is "Going green"......so adjust yourcomputers color scheme accordingly. I hope you weren't refering to that other "green"......grow up hippie.

I walked by a Toyota in the parking lot this morning. I think I need a re-call.

My entire family, my Girlfriend and a few hundred other randome vacationers are going on a cruise next month. I'm stoked. I can't estimate without an accountant how many times I'll reference the "I'm on a boat" song (check it out if you haven't yet). Word to all potential Pirates, if you attack said cruise I can promise no mercy and I will be stabbing you in the eye with a salad fork.


That's all. Let's do this again sometime. No, No.....I'll call you. Millermothra out.